Hey everyone, 

in this post I wanna talk about how I’ve identified toxic people in my life, so that I could remove them and make space for people who actually matter.

I define toxic people as those who don’t actively contribute to the person I am or am working towards becoming. 

I don’t have anything against them, and I don’t think they’re bad people. I just think our values are different, which is why the relationship doesn’t last. 

So

the first way I identify a so-called toxic person is based on what they joke about.

If I tell someone about my goals, and they repeatedly crack fun at it, I stop spending time with them.

And you might think that it’s only a joke; but the joke itself isn’t the problem. It’s what it means about the way they feel that’s the problem.

If someone repeatedly jokes about goals that you’re serious about, it means they’re insecure. 

It’s because they don’t want you to be better than them, and they’re afraid that you will be if you achieve what you’re after. 

I think the saying, “I want you to do well, but not better than me” is applicable to a lot of people.

Specifically, people who think that life is a zero-sum game; that in order for them to win, you need to lose. And I know from experience that that’s not true. 

Real friends

are happy when you do well, and when you do better than them.

Instead of getting jealous, either they brag about how you guys have been buddies for a long time, and that you still do the same dorky stuff; which I think is sweet :)

Or, they also get inspired and ask to learn from you so that they can achieve the same. 

And of course you want to help them because they stuck with you throughout your journey, and encouraged your progress instead of trying to drag you down. 

Anyone who doesn’t do that, does not deserve to be a part of your life. 

The second way

I identify toxic people is if they encourage things that they know will actively hurt my ability to achieve my goals. 

For example, say you’ve told your “friend” that you’re trying to quit alcohol because you want to be healthier.

And let’s say you meet at an event the following week where they serve alcohol. 

If they try to get you to drink or “just take a sip”, they’re not your friend. 

They’re someone who’s intentionally hurting your progress.

And even if they do it jokingly or sarcastically, remember the first point I mentioned; if of all things they choose your goals as their source of amusement, it stems from insecurity and a zero-sum mentality.

The third way

I identify toxic people is based on how I feel after interacting with them. 

I literally just reflect on my energy levels and mood after speaking with different people. 

There are people who I love spending time with the vast majority of the time, that give me a lot of energy, like my family.

And then there are energy vampires who I avoid like the plague once I identify them. After speaking to them I usually feel really tired, and it puts me in a bad mood.

I’ve even experienced instances where after interacting with these people, I’m in such a bad mood that I unintentionally take it out on my family, which is not okay. 

Thankfully my family understands when I’m not in the best mental state, and they give me my space. 

But the fact that just speaking to this person negatively impacted my most important relationships is unacceptable. 

So I immediately distance myself from these people, and I don’t entertain any interactions with them unless it’s absolutely unavoidable.

If you have any questions or want to see more videos on this topic, email us or leave a comment below. 

That’s A Wrap!

As always,

Take Care Of Your Health & It Will Take Care Of You.

Your Internet Siblings,

The Healthy Kangaroo Team ;)